EMDR for Couples

By Maureen Bethea, LMFT

I recently attended an EMDR provider’s retreat and the topic of couples therapy came up. Many of the participating therapists were overwhelmed by treating couples, preferring to treat individuals and assuming (hoping?) that individual work would repair attachment issues in relationship. What I know to be true from my individual work as well as my experience treating couples is: it doesn’t work that way!

My clinical experience has shown me that individuals can do immense amounts of work on their own attachment trauma and emotion regulation AND they need help integrating that into their relationships, particularly ones where there has been hurt and harm. We need to look at attachment patterns from the family of origin that partners bring to the relationship as well as attachment dynamics and injuries in the current relationship. How do we incorporate the complexities of this work?

Enter: Couple’s EMDR. Integrative Resource Network has developed trainings to provide a framework for integrating the complexities of couple’s therapy and EMDR to provide a guide for clinical decision making. EMDR has the power to help couples heal from historical and current struggles with co-regulation, safety, intimacy, and conflict.

I was trained as a Marriage and Family Therapist and spent the first part of my career treating high conflict couples with escalated communication, attachment injuries, and difficulty with connection and intimacy. After licensure, I was trained in EMDR and spent time getting certified, taking advanced trauma courses, and becoming an EMDRIA Approved Consultant. Treating my individual clients with EMDR has been a remarkable experience and I have witnessed life-changing growth. Treating couples with EMDR has provided an opportunity to see individuals not only feel better themselves, but also feel safe in relationship with others. It is incredible work! We at IRN bring these specialties together to ensure practitioners have a map to approach their couples work and integrate the power of EMDR in a thoughtful way.